That 84 Lumber Commercial

So, the Patriots just won the Super Bowl. They said it was impossible, that nobody could make a comeback from that far behind that late in the game. I seem to remember hearing something like that last November. But everybody knows the truly important thing about the Super Bowl is the commercials, and I want to talk to you about the one 84 Lumber ran tonight.

That 84 Lumber Commercial
That 84 Lumber Commercial

In case you haven’t seen it. The ad played during the game was a short spot that began with a Mexican woman being woken up by her daughter. The two head out on a mission to illegally cross the United States border, and along the way the daughter is picking up bits of fabric. It ends with the duo sitting by a campfire in the desert, and a message to see the rest of the journey at their website.

Right here we can remark about the brilliance of the ad. A contentious political issue, being exploited by an advertiser during the most watched television event in the country, to get people to their website. It could pay for itself in controversy alone, or it could turn one or both halves of the country against you. One thing’s for sure, people are going to talk about it.

If you go to the website you see a longer version of the the advertisement. In this one the scene continues into the next morning as the mother and daughter walk the desert with several other people. The daughter is thirsty and asks the mother for water, but she doesn’t have any. So the mother asks fellow travelers for some of theirs, and they provide it, showing what virtuous people they are.

Someone else has a bottle of water too. He’s a brown skinned man working on a construction site along with a diverse workforce of other laborers. The mother and daughter suddenly seem to have lost the nice folks who gave them life saving water, as they approach the newly built border wall which wasn’t nearly half as beautiful as the God Emperor had promised. The daughter opens her backpack, and shows her mother that the fabric she had been picking up along their journey were all red white and blue, and she used them to make an American Flag out of garbage. The mother is so proud, she sheds a tear and hugs the future postmodern art major.

A man is driving away from the construction site. A white man, in a pickup truck, you know the type. He has a bunch of lumber in the back of his truck as he is driving away, obviously feeling good about his day’s work building racist walls.

But, oh wait! The mother sees something a little further down the wall. She urges her daughter to rush toward it with her, and there it is. A big beautiful door on our not so beautiful wall, made out of wood. The scene flashes back to the white man in the truck, then back to the border jumpers. The mother pushes on the door, and it opens, reminding racist white people why they lock their doors, and why we need snipers on the wall.

The scene flashes back to back of the white man’s truck, and the lumber in it. Across the screen appear the words “The will to succeed is always welcome here” and we end with the company logo.

I imagine I’m not the only one who felt pretty good seeing that, at first. It reminds me of a thing I used to believe very strongly in. America is a place where people who are willing to put in the effort can make anything of themselves. A place where we’ve moved beyond physical appearances and live together as a people united under the ideas of freedom, merit, and prosperity. A place that welcomed all who wanted to strive for a better life.

It even tried to bridge the gap between our very polarized political parties, and take some of the wind out of the sails of the left wing insurrectionists trying to overthrow the president. It was done beautifully, and I wish I was your average person who didn’t really understand politics so I could enjoy that seemingly patriotic moment in peace.

Unfortunately, I am not that guy anymore. The left destroyed that guy, and almost genocided his entire race from the face of the planet. I had to put aside my genuine desire to be welcoming to others in order to save my life. I had to become the most hated thing ever just to stop my own extermination. I had to become a racist.

I had to come to terms with the fact that my people were propagandized for decades that breeding was bad for the environment. That sex was about pleasure. That abortion isn’t murder, and that only men who hate women oppose subsidized sterilization. When that had its perfectly predictable outcome, I was told I had to subsidize mass immigration into my country from the third world even while they loaded up the welfare rolls, prisons, hospitals, and cemeteries, because there just wasn’t enough people to fill these jobs none of the millions of existing welfare recipients wanted to do.

When I dared to question the wisdom of such a policy, I was called a racist. I pointed out the statistics and the very real impacts of this problem as politely as I could, and I was still called a racist. I explained this was not a product of the free market, but an intentional government policy, and I was called a racist. I insisted that I was not a racist and this was just more proof to them of my racism.

Gradually, I began to hate them.

Now I have to watch as pizzerias and pharmacies are burned down by rioters who say their lives matter. I have to watch a gay Jewish immigrant run for his life under police protection, because of “anti-fascists” who assaulted, burned, and looted the home of the free speech movement to keep him from speaking.

Now, just to stop the destruction of my country, I have to take demographics into political consideration. I have to realize that people who flee socialist countries to collect welfare in mine, are not “natural conservatives” who will favor “the will to succeed” we once welcomed. They are rather a scheme by my political opposition to end my race and make my country fall to communism.

They preached the virtues of tolerance, and belittled anyone who strayed from their doctrine. I joined them in doing this like so many of us did, and I felt very good about it. I mingled with people of other races, I even dated a few, almost married a couple. I was beyond it, to the extent one can be. I believed in a post racial world.

And the left ruined it all. The media ruined it all. They ruined that nice commercial. They destroyed that welcoming spirit with their cries of intolerance, and that will to succeed with their redistributionist schemes. They have taken away my ability to be tolerant, and left me with the seething hatred that has become necessary for my survival.

I hate them for that more than anything, and they do it all the time, to everything they touch. They come up with some very beautiful image of something we should all aspire to be, they preach its virtues and invite us all to come celebrate it with them. They demand power to make it come to fruition, and then they use it to destroy all the beauty the real world and human condition provide us with.

They take our love of women, and use it to murder children. They take our desire to help those less fortunate, and use it to destroy the market economy. They take our willingness to die for our people, and use it for reasons I can’t even fathom anymore. They take everything good about us, and they turn it to purposes so wicked you can barely imagine a human being would be capable of thinking it. But eventually you realize that nobody makes that many catastrophic mistakes that all lead to the same horrifying outcome.

Eventually we are left with only one option, to hate them and everything they do. We have to see that any nice thing they say, is only a conspiracy to do something terrible. The nicer it sounds, the more villainous the motive must be.

Now I know that far from letting more people into America, we need to get people out of it. Perhaps worse than that, I don’t even believe the United States can stay together as one country. I think these sick, twisted plots have left us so irreparably divided that continuing to share a government can only lead us to civil war and racial violence.

It’s too bad too… Because that was a really nice commercial.


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Christopher Cantwell comedian, writer, voice artist, and Patriot.

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