Twas The Night Before Christmas in Red Charlottesville

I had written this little Christmas Eve poem for the show, but I thought I would release it as its own MP3 after doing a couple of takes to correct the mistakes I made while reading it live on the air.

Radical Agenda S03E004 - Christmas Eve
Radical Agenda S03E004 – Christmas Eve

Twas the night before Christmas, in Red Charlottesville,
A tranny was lying, because that’s what trannies do!
The niggers were stealing, the Jews in control
And the white working folks, they paid for it all
Until in Lee Park, there arose such a clatter
Antifa came running to see what was the matter
And there in the park, with a torch in his hand
A horrible, privileged, fat racist white man
The communists shouted, You fascist pig!
We are the RESISTANCE! This town is for nigs!
The fat man he laughed Oh Ho Ho Ho!
You Bolshevik faggots, you don’t even know!
With his free hand he pointed to the street by the park
And 16 headlights, illuminated the dark
He told them Reindeer are so 2004
So I traded them in for 8 Dodge Challengers
Run these kikes over, so Heyer they’ll visit!
The cars revved their engines, the communists scattered
The tires then screeched, and proved black lives don’t matter
He called Donald Trump and said “The job has been done”
The President told him “Bring Cantwell his guns!”
He jumped in his sleigh and took off in a hurry
Then scared me half to death, coming down my chimney
He said “You’ve been so good fighting for race and nation
I’ve brought you some presents, a martial donation
Select fire AKs, and ARs galore
Glocks, Rugers, ammo, and body armor
With tears in my eyes I said “This is for me?”
He said “Of course, you crying Nazi!”
I loaded the guns, and tried on the gear
I thanked him profusely and wiped away tears
I told him “For years I thought you weren’t real
But these guns and those corpses just sealed the deal
I’ll always believe now, thank you Santa!
He said Don’t thank me, thank Adolf Hitler
I looked out the window, and there in his Sleigh
The Fuhrer himself, waved and said Hey!
Then they both took off in the cold winter night
Merry Christmas to all!
Keep America White!


Christopher Cantwell comedian, writer, voice artist, and Patriot.