Twas the night before Christmas, in the District of Criminals
They shut down the government, but disruptions were minimal
The bump stocks were banned, though the wall not forthcoming
The Reds still run riot, while the feds still do nothing
The patriots sat on the edge of their seats
Preparing for war, though hoping for peace
And I in New Hampshire, friends locked in Virginia
On this Christmas Eve special, of the Radical Agenda
Just after the show, there arose such a clatter
I pulled out my Glock to see what was the matter
I rushed out the door to see a man dressed in red
I pulled out my pistol and said “You move and you’re dead!”
“You Red commie fucks try to get me on Christmas?”
“You’re lucky I’m sober or I’d give you the business!”
“What’s in that bag? Bunch of crude IED’s?”
“And why does your car have no wheels, just skis?”
“What’s wrong with your dogs with that shit on their heads?”
“That one in the front, why’s his nose so red?”
The man looked right at me, no fear in his eyes
So I emptied my mag screaming DIE COMMIE DIE!
The bullets just hung in the air like the Matrix
The man started laughing “Ho, Ho, Ho, Hey Chris”
“I’m not with antifa or Redneck Revolt, and those are my reindeer, not mutant pit bulls”
“You’re too paranoid, though I understand why,
given your experience with a corrupt FBI.
You’ve had a rough year, but that’s over now,
The tables are turning, and I’ll help, here’s how”
He opened his bag, and gave me a gift,
I tore it right open, and nearly did shit
A small piece of plastic three inches by two
My picture was on it, and my birthday too
A license of some sort, which never expires
It gave me permission to straight open fire
On trannies, and negroes, especially Jews
Communists, traitors, and Neocons too.
I said “This is bullshit, it must be a trap!
You’re from the North Pole, and you have to go back!
No way you can issue a Red hunting license
If I try to use this I’ll be in confinement
He said “It’s true, I lack the authority,
but lucky for you, the gift’s not from me”
I turned the thing over to look at the back
The President’s Seal and the signature matched
Still in disbelief , I said “You must be a Jew!
The President fucked us, and you’re in on it too,
My friends are in prison, though they broke no law,
This shutdown’s a scam, we’re getting no wall,
Why would Trump try to help me like this?
You must think I’m drunk just cause it’s Christmas!”
He said “I get it, but calm down, there’s more”
He pulled out his smartphone, and I heard a roar
Or more of a whirring it turned out to be,
As Marine 1 then landed, right on my street
The President got out, his hand to his brow,
I returned the salute, still wondering how.
The President said “I know times are tough,
You’ve been through a lot, far more than enough,
But I need your help, and that of your friends,
The swamp can’t be drained, but this ain’t the end
Nice place you’ve got here, New Hampshire’s so White,
You must keep it that way, no matter the fight
That license is real, and so is this bargain
If you get arrested, I’ll give you a pardon
The country is lost, but the Nation lives on
I need you to save it, I’m merely a pawn”
The chopper took off, and I looked at Santa
He looked back at me and said “What you’re doing matters,
People may smear you, and treat you like shit,
But if not for white people, there’d be no Christmas,
The Struggle is real, believe me I know,
Those Jews hate me too, and I’ve not hurt a soul.
I bring people presents and give children glee,
But that never stopped kikes from slandering me,
So keep your head up, there’s good times ahead
Your friends are in jail now, but they aren’t dead
You still have a chance, to set this thing right,
Merry Christmas to all, save America’s Whites!”
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