We have a special treat for you today. I mentioned at the end of S05E001 that I would not be in studio today, and I had intended to release a “Best Of Stage Four Opening Monologues” in place of today’s episode. Instead, I stumbled across some radio gold by accident last night, and I bring this freak show to you today.
New Hampshire is what is known as an “All Party Consent” when it comes to recording audio. When I release recorded calls, you will, for this reason, hear me notify the other party. Today I am not in New Hampshire, so I can have a little bit more fun with my phone.
When I got into my destination it was late, and I had been drinking coffee and Red Bulls on the road to stay alert, so sleep was out of the question. I am also in the market for a wife, or somebody to keep me entertained until a suitable wife presents herself. So I called a telephone dating service called LiveLinks to see who was on the prowl.
I used to call LiveLinks from time to time when I lived in New York many years ago. There were always nutcases and thots there, but it wasn’t completely impossible to find someone worth spending a few hours with. The diversity epidemic has destroyed what little value remained on the service since then, so after I used up my LiveLinks free trial, I thought it would be fun to call back and talk shit to these nutcases instead of trying to hook up with them.
LiveLinks is part of a network of phone dating systems branded under different names. For example, VibeLine is marketed to blacks, and FonoChat is marketed to Hispanics, and each gives you a free 30 minute trial based on your caller ID, but all of them are connected so you hear the same greetings on each. So I called VibeLine and FonoChat, to deliver some Radical Agenda style life advice to the users of the system.
I doubt they appreciated it much, but you’ll surely get a chuckle out of it.
See you Monday, if not sooner!